My Breastfeeding Story

This is my breastfeeding story. It’s a story about how I dealt with “failure to thrive,” insufficient glandular tissue (IGT), using a supplementer (SNS), and lack of understanding from medical staff, friends and family, while nursing my 4 children. I don’t tell it to scold, accuse or badger. I tell it to help others struggling as I did. It is meant to help heal wounds, present options, and find grace.


Part 1



Kisses from Grandma

 A Long Awaited Arrival

After trying for three solid years my husband and I, at the perfect moment, found out that we were expecting our first baby. The anticipation of the first grandchild on both sides of the family was an exciting time for my Mom and Dad, my husband's Parents and all 3 of the Uncles.

When my Mother found out that I wanted to breastfeed she had warned me that it didn’t work out very well with her and my brother. At two months old he was still very much under the weight curve and the doctor had said to, “Shove cereal in him as fast as you can.” He told her to buy a scale and weigh him before and after feeding to make sure he was getting something.

My mother ended up abandoning breastfeeding because the scale didn’t show much. Back in the late 70s when my brother was born, breastfeeding was making a slight comeback from the 40s, 50s and 60s where it was looked at as a disgusting and not ideal food. A friend of mine who was born in the 50s told me her mother, “bought that good formula when she could afford it.” I guess the formula companies were very good at marketing their chemical concoctions even back then.

Now we are realizing the multi-generational impact of formula feeding. We are seeing digestive issues from lactase and other enzyme deficiencies, and bowel, allergy and immune issues from the colonizing of too much yeast and pathogenic bacteria in the digestive tract which feed on the unchecked sugars in the formula. I knew enough about formula to know I never wanted my child to have it. I researched as much as I could and found out about the asthma and allergy connections. My husband has allergies and I wanted to do all I could to help ensure my baby didn’t suffer like he did.

When our daughter was born after 26 hours of labor and two days of missed sleep, we were unprepared. Yes we had the crib ready, the diaper stacker filled and even pretty white clouds painted on the nursery room ceiling, but we were unprepared emotionally and financially. At the hospital my daughter showed signs of things to come, but our lack of experience hid from us any hints at the future. Neither my husband nor I had experience with newborns and when we got home she spent the days crying and nursing. We were given very strict orders not to have her in bed with us. These orders were obeyed unless I accidentally fell asleep while nursing her, which happened quite often. The middle of the night feedings were especially trying. Both my husband and I are very fond of our sleep, disturbing this was unsettling to say the least. There were arguments about him needing to go to work, begging me to keep the baby quiet. I was doing everything I knew to do, but it wasn’t working. I tried every position, nursing nonstop, and she still was very discontent.

I called everyone I knew, the pediatrician, my mom, my breastfeeding friends, The La Leche League, the hospital’s lactation consultant, my friend’s lactation consultant, and got varying advice from each one. “Only feed every two hours.” “Feed her whenever she wants.” “Make sure you get enough rest.” “Just quit and give her formula.” “Make sure you nurse long enough on one breast to get the hind milk.” “She can go 10 days without a bowel movement.” “Make sure she poops every day.” “Very few women cannot fully breastfeed their babies.” “Just give her a supplement.” The most poignant and memorable comment at that point was, “Don’t you DARE supplement that baby!”

Actually the doctor did not seem concerned from the beginning and told me as long as she pees once a day it was ok for her to go 10 days without a bowel movement. At the 2 week appointment the doctor started to show concern for the lack of weight gain and told me to supplement. Before this I too was concerned she wasn’t getting enough, but I was not going to supplement her, no matter what, because I was convinced, and was told in no uncertain terms, it would destroy my supply. At about 2 weeks 2 days my mom came to see her and said, “Are you sure that is pee in the diaper?” I was sure my mom was trying to undermine my breastfeeding efforts so I assured her that of course it was urine. What I found in the next diaper frightened me. I found little orange crystals and streaks of pink in her diaper.

I instantly realized that the “wetness” that I had found in the diaper over the last 3 or 4 days or so was only the gobs, literally a tablespoon or more, of vitamin D ointment I put on her during changes. Before this her urine had been very dark yellow, but since the urine “lightened up” in color, or so I thought, no one seemed concerned. It was not until that moment that I realized that she hadn’t peed in days and now had crystals in her urine.

Despite nursing every 10 to 15 minutes or so, I felt betrayed and horribly accountable. I now realized I made a dreadful mistake that threateened the health of my baby. All it took was listening to the wrong people.

Nursing through Nerosurgery - How I continued to breastfeed even after 5 days in the hospital Part 1

Breastfeeding while your baby is separated from you for an extended period of time is difficult, especially when you are taking all sorts of drugs. But when the doctor says you need to stay in the hospital, you usually have no other choice.

This is what happened to me last month. I was quickly diagnosed with a herniated disk that caused my left foot and calf to go numb, not to mention it was almost impossible to walk, sit or stand. I'm not even going to tell you what it was like to visit the potty. After being sent home from one hospital, I was sent to another, fully expecting them to do the same. They didn't. I was left full of milk and no one to feed.

This was less of an issue for my 8 month old, especially since she was already getting supplements of formula through the supplementer. But I was not ready to let go of the relationship just yet, despite the urging of my mother. Concerned about the undue hardship that breastfeeding would cause on my healing body, I was told to "just stop!"

It did take some work to get things going again, but I'm so glad I didn't listen to my mom. What she may not have taken into consideration is the hardship the hormonal drop would have caused if I did stop nursing. I'll detail how I did this in my next post!

Thrush - The Thing that Stopped me from Breastfeeding (Almost)

Thrush infections are common among us breastfeeding moms, but many people don't talk about them. This is a type of yeast infection that happens during the nursing relationship and it can be a real pain, literally.


With thrush the area on your areola and nipple get red and inflamed and may even peel. When the baby nurses you are enduring varying amounts of torture, depending on how severe the infection is. It is a burning or stinging pain that may shoot up the side of your breast. Sometimes the baby has symptoms such as difficulty feeding, or may even have whitish patches in his or her mouth. It can also show up at the other end in the form of diaper rash, with red inflamed skin around the bum and skin folds.

I started using a Mother Love Herbal product called "Diaper Rash and Thrush Relief" that I bought at my local Whole Foods Market for my baby's bottom and it cleared up the yeasty diaper rash very well. It's a bit pricey, but well worth it for as well as it worked.

Unfortunately I had to use something stronger on my skin. First I tried a vinegar water mixture. I kept it in the shower for sprits after washing. I wash, rinse, spray with the vinegar water mixture, and then rinse it off. It did seem to help, but the yeast eventually got ahead of the vinegar.

Next I tried coconut oil and caprillic acid from information I found on the internet. Both are derived from coconuts and were fairly inexpensive, all things considered. It did seem to help, at first, but then the infection came back.

Then I asked for a prescription. My doctor gave me Nystatin cream. This finally did the trick, but I had to make sure to wash it off completely before feeding the baby.

Right now as maintenance I put the Nystatin on at night before bed and wash it off in the morning before the first feeding. This seems to keep the yeast at bay. Most lactation consultants say to treat mother and baby to completely eradicate the yeast. My pediatrician did not think it was necessary to treat the baby, which might be why this maintenance level is needed. An interesting anecdote is that I started to get thrush when I started using formula in my SNS. For months I used donor milk and I seemed to have no problems with yeast overgrowth then. My theory is that formula coming in contact with the skin might be what's causing the yeast to grow.

Another important thing to note is that when I eat a bunch of sugary stuff the thrush seems to come back. I'm limiting the frozen desserts and chocolate binges...well trying to at least. My family has a lot of birthdays in June, I'm doing my best. :)

Adventures with an SNS

My SNS, or Supplemental Nursing System was not easy to use... at first. Now I won't give my baby a bottle. It enables me to maximize my supply with minimal effort.

I plan on documenting the adventures with this useful tool in the months to come, including how it worked so well I was able to stop using it all together. What other gadget can you say that about! Stay tuned!